My card please, Mrs. Astor!

Back in the summer, at one of Mrs. Astor's lavish court parties at The Palace, she exclaimed (and who remembers why) the infamous line, "But you are Blanche, you are . . ." from Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Having never seen the film, I inquired as to what the line was from. I was informed and promptly (and forthrightly . . . is that a word?) replied that I hadn't ever seen the film. The gasps were audible in West Palm Beach. I sheepishly said, "yea, yea, yea, I know. And the other one I need to see is Mommie Dearest." That was it!

Somehow, I managed to avoid a beheading, with much effort, mind you. But, sadly, I was immediately stripped of my gay card. Since then, I've been aimlessly wandering the streets of San Fransisco . . . no, that's not right . . . the streets of Fort Lauderdale, trying to find a way to rejoin the happy homos. Then, the answer hit me . . . rent the movies, you bonehead! Well, I did.

I started with Whatever Happened to Baby Jane first and am glad I did. What a fantastic twist and two amazing performances by Ms. Davis and Ms. Crawford. To follow with Mommie Dearest was incredible. Having seen Joan Crawford give a wonderful performance in ...Baby Jane and then to see what in incredible wack-a-doodle she really was. Wow. And of course, "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!!!!!!" Fantastic.

So, I believe that my card is due back. And yes, Mrs. Astor, one day in the not-too-distant future I will finish watching Gone With the Wind to gain my status back into your court.

FIVE DAYS AND COUNTING

Yes, it's true. In just five days, Michele will be here. Woo hoo!