Showtune . . . onstage & off

For Me, For Me, For Me

2007-11-05T20:16:00.000-05:00

This time for me . . . for me . . . for me . . . FOR MEEEEEEEEEEE!
It's time for me!
The transformation begins . . .

I'm applying for a new job

2007-08-29T18:49:00.000-04:00

AND I'M PERFECT FOR IT!
I CAN START IMMEDIATELY!

They Walk Among Us

2007-08-13T19:21:00.000-04:00

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was a University of SC graduate and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again...same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64. .............They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
.............They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?" ...............They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff"
...........They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific ..............They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...............They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. ......They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?" ..............They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6." ..............Yep, They Walk Among Us!

They Walk Among Us.
They can vote.
And, they REPRODUCE!

The lizard is giving birth!

2007-07-24T22:40:00.000-04:00

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds
prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?" I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"
I was equally outraged.
"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.
"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!).
"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth." "Oh, gross!" they shrieked.
"Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified. "Do something, Dad!" my son urged. "Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?) "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. "I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.).

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically. "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. "Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen . . . Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. We were silent, absorbing this.

"So, Ernie's just . . . just . . . excited," my wife offered. "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. Tears were now running down her face. "It's just . . that . . . I'm picturing you pulling on its . . . its . . . teeny little . ." She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more. "That's enough," I warned.

We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car He was glad everything was going to be okay. "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me. "Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50.
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie: Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class. Lizards lay eggs.

A weekend chuckle

2007-06-23T09:42:00.000-04:00

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

Once again, The Golden Girls has it right!

2007-06-22T20:52:00.001-04:00

Ok, first of all, this posting is not a pity party. It's just been very long since I've posted and feel compelled to do so now while watching THE GOLDEN GIRLS. Long story short, I met a guy. He seems really great. Incredibly sexy too. Unfortunately, he lives in Long Island. Why do I keep finding guys I like who are long distance? I didn't think I'd be so into this guy, but I guess I am, since I can't get him off of my mind. And now, Dorothy is singing a wonderful Irving Berlin song, "What'll I Do," that fits my frame of mind right now . . .

What'll I do?
When I am wond'ring who
Is kissing you
What'll I do?

What'll I do with just a photograph
To tell my troubles to?

When I'm alone
With only dreams of you
That won't come true
What'll I do?

AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DRINKS

2007-05-28T11:34:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, my dear friend Amy and I hit EPCOT to drink around the world! WHAT A GREAT DAY! After a brief Florida shower mid-morning, the rest of the day was just splendid! We made our own badges and when we got there, purchased the EPCOT passport where you put in stickers for each country, get it stamped and signed. It was a hoot!

We started out in Mexico w/ forzen margaritas and crappy chips & salsa.

On to Norway where we had a beer and "School Bread" which was perfect for two teachers. Rose Nylund, eat your heart out!

Third stop was China and some plumb wine . . .

followed by Germany for a shot of Goldschlager and a pretzel. Mmmmm.

Our fifth country was Italy where we met up with Andy from Miami. For some reason, the two goons he was with weren't drinking . . . absolutely SHAMEFUL! Andy was so sweet and bought the three of us a lovely sparkling red wine and dark chocolates. Boy do I look fat here! Must be the chocolate and bloating from the beer . . . yea, that's it!

The good old U. S. of A. was our next spot where we had a beer.

We then proceeded to Japan and had "sucky sake". Neither one of us were too fond of it. It was rather bland, but it did pack a punch at 15% alcohol. :)

Morocco was our next stop where we indulged in tangerine cocktail. A fruity drink. Tasty. We even sat down for a while and watched a few other fruits wander around.

We skpped France, as we were to return their for dinner later in the evening and headed to the United Kingdom where we had another fruity drink, a Captain Jack Cocktail, along with some fish & chips.

Our final stop was Canada where we had one last beer. Well, Amy had two sips and I had about half. She was lucky she could stand at that point . . . she doesn't remember too much about Canada but I had a rather interesting trist with a mounty. Ok, I didn't, but it sounds fun!

We headed back to the Swan Hotel, a short walk away, to check in and change for dinner. After a brief mishap, we eneded up across the garden at the Dolphin Hotel with $50 off of our room. Thank you, Westin! It was a fine room with very comfy beds and a lovely view of the Swan Hotel and the bridge over to the Boardwalk

Dinner was back at France where we indulged in some fabulous food, wine and a window table overlooking the lagoon and the Illuminations show. If we were together, it would've been quite romantic, and I'm sure lead to some fabulous drunk sex! Apparently, the people next to us had quite a day of drinking too. You can't see the fireworks through the window and . . . well, you can see what the picture looks like. At least our hair looks decent, right?

All in all, it was a wonderful trip and will most likely become an annual Memorial Day weekend event. Don't delay . . . sign up for next year's trip!!!!!!!

I Can't Believe I'm Laughing!

2007-04-04T22:05:00.000-04:00

Yes, it's true. I'm watching ANOTHER GAY MOVIE. It's so funny. Maybe it's my mood. I don't know. But, it's funny. And Matthew Rush hasn't even appeared yet!!! :)

Aint Life Ducky?

2007-04-03T22:39:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, along with my friend, Erin, from NYC, I went to Orlando. I saw a former student's first college production (ROCKY HORRORY SHOW). After the show and before dinner, Erin and I visited the Peabody Hotel. For those who are unfamiliar, the Peabody Hotel(s) have ducks in them. Yes, real, live ducks who live there, are marched out to the lobby fountain in the morning and back again in the afternoon, complete with red carpet and a John Phillip Sousa march! It is quite a site to behold.

BUT, NOBODY HAS JOB SECURITY! Not even the ducks! There they are, living the high life at the Peabody, only to one day in the future be returned to the wild. (That's why the ducks are not "named", but rather, simply "tagged" at the foot. They too lose their cushy job and must fend for themselves again one day (which to me seems more cruel than keeping them in a luxurious state of captivity). Ah well . . .

I have a video clip too but can't figure out how to attach that. Damn technology!

Cheers!

2007-03-31T12:13:00.000-04:00

It's a lovely day today. A balmy breeze is blowing. The sun is shining radiantly. Erin is here from NYC. We've had coffee and mimosas. Now we're on to chips/salsa and homemade quacamole. The margaritas will be pourin' soon. Life is good. Now, bring on the dancing boys . . .

What to say?

2007-03-29T10:29:00.000-04:00

Last night I visited a friend in South Beach. We watched DIE, MOMMIE, DIE. What a great film! Absolutely hilarious. Truly entertaining. We drank Moet champagne. Mmmmmm. Yummy. Now, the problem . . . I like this guy . . . I always have fun with him and smile and laugh and . . . BUT he lives in South Beach! UGH! AND, I'm just not exactly sure what is happening or where, if anywhere, whatever is or is not happening, is/is not/or might be going. I've said it before and I'll say it again . . . emotions are an evil thing! Why can't life be simpler?!?!

Well, my show is over and was a huge success! Now I'm back to the gym, back on the diet and working on myself. Tomorrow I plan on purchasing my laptop so I'll be able to write at home and not just sporadically, at work. Stay tuned . . .

I'll Be Back . . .

2007-03-16T13:41:00.000-04:00

Has anyone even missed my absence? I am in production hell right now opening a musical a week from today. As a result, I haven't had time to reflect on life, much less wright about it. BUT, early April should see a laptop in my life, allowing me to do my postings from home. Then, I'll probably never shut up. Ah well. Hugs to all . . .

A Republican?!?!

2007-02-15T11:27:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I'm even thinking of this, but I am. And very seriously too . . .

Last night, Rudy Giulianni announced on Larry King Live that he was indeed in the running for the presidency in 2008. I have been a huge Rudy supporter since I lived in NYC. Is the man perfect? No. But I believe he is an excellent leader and would do well to steer this country in the right direction. I've said for a number of years now, if he ran, no matter what party I was affiliated with (I am not affiliated with any party now) I would vote for him.

Florida is a closed primary state, meaning that you must be a member of a political party to vote in the primary elections. Well, I am seriously contemplating registering as a Republican so that I can vote for Rudy in the primaries, helping him gain the party's nomination. I never thought this day would come, but it seems like the best reason to become a Republican.

Obviously, I'll rescind that and go back to no party affiliation immediately following the primaries!

What a swell party it was!

2007-02-06T09:04:00.000-05:00

Or so I was told. See, bonehead here had in his head that TIARAS AT THE PALACE started at 4pm and not 2pm. Well, upon close observation of the invitation at 2:45pm, he realized he was dead wrong! Between an accident on I-95 (involving a FL state trooper) and then a 30 minute parking adventure in SOBE, I didn't get to the Palace until 4:30 . . . well after the jewels had been distributed (fortunately, I still have my family jewels in tact). As a result, I was put on K.P. duty! I can only hope I wasn't red-lined from the next guest list. UGH!

If you wanna be a humpy, humpy boy . . .

2007-01-31T07:39:00.000-05:00

you gotta be a hunky, hunky boy. So goes the lyric from the musical review, NAKED BOYS SINGING. Yes, they are actually naked for about 90% of the show (a few towels & jock straps here & there). This photo is from the New York production, now in its 7th year!

And in my quest to become a humpy, humpy boy (er, I mean . . . hunky, hunky boy) I have joined 'THE GYM'. What's more, I'm actually going! Who knew?!?! And for those in question, when I say "THE GYM" I mean L.A. Fitness, not the tubs!!!

It is a rigorous routine, but the time is right. Watching what I eat and watching the hot boys (I mean, working out) seems to working slowly.

OF COURSE, I WILL be forgoing the diet this weekend for the Countess DuBarry's lavish Tiaras at the Palace soiree! My ticket is locked in my hope chest and will not be brought out until the exact moment of necessity (like most things locked in my hope chest).

Until Saturday . . .

Long Overdue

2007-01-04T13:02:00.000-05:00

I have been having limited access since Dec. 21 and have spent some time today catching up on blogs. Boy, people have been busy!

Since I only have a computer at work, I have been bad about posting too. The 'urge' isn't really there at work. I am currently in the market for a laptop. Once that happens, I'll be back blogging more regularly I hope. Big life changes are happening . . .

My card please, Mrs. Astor!

2006-11-20T14:54:00.000-05:00

Back in the summer, at one of Mrs. Astor's lavish court parties at The Palace, she exclaimed (and who remembers why) the infamous line, "But you are Blanche, you are . . ." from Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Having never seen the film, I inquired as to what the line was from. I was informed and promptly (and forthrightly . . . is that a word?) replied that I hadn't ever seen the film. The gasps were audible in West Palm Beach. I sheepishly said, "yea, yea, yea, I know. And the other one I need to see is Mommie Dearest." That was it!

Somehow, I managed to avoid a beheading, with much effort, mind you. But, sadly, I was immediately stripped of my gay card. Since then, I've been aimlessly wandering the streets of San Fransisco . . . no, that's not right . . . the streets of Fort Lauderdale, trying to find a way to rejoin the happy homos. Then, the answer hit me . . . rent the movies, you bonehead! Well, I did.

I started with Whatever Happened to Baby Jane first and am glad I did. What a fantastic twist and two amazing performances by Ms. Davis and Ms. Crawford. To follow with Mommie Dearest was incredible. Having seen Joan Crawford give a wonderful performance in ...Baby Jane and then to see what in incredible wack-a-doodle she really was. Wow. And of course, "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!!!!!!" Fantastic.

So, I believe that my card is due back. And yes, Mrs. Astor, one day in the not-too-distant future I will finish watching Gone With the Wind to gain my status back into your court.

FIVE DAYS AND COUNTING

2006-11-14T10:41:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's true. In just five days, Michele will be here. Woo hoo!

the new 20s

2006-10-25T10:17:00.000-04:00

Well, I THINK I've finally embraced the concept that the 30s are the new 20s. Last year, 30 hit me incredibly hard. This year, not so much. Pfew! So, I enjoy my last day of '20' and tomorrow, become old enough to legally drink . . . there's not enough liquor in Fort Liquordale!

Easy Come, Easy Go

2006-10-09T09:45:00.000-04:00

As quickly as my annual party-fest begins, it ends. And so it did at 5:45am Saturday morning. After a very long night, I think I'm back to my respectable (ok, so that's debatable) self.

Bring on the weekend . . .

2006-10-06T13:00:00.000-04:00

And so it is . . . Friday 1pm. Bring on the men . . . it's party time! Woo hoo!

Somebody still thinks he's 22

2006-10-03T13:28:00.000-04:00

Yep, it's me. Sadly, I am not anymore. "Recovery time" is getting longer and longer. Oh how I do love three day weekends. Due to Yom Kippur, yesterday was a holiday from work for me. Fortunately, being the practically perfect lad that I am, I had nothing to atone for. So, Sunday saw me once again on Peter Burke's tea cruise. I do love the first Sunday of the month. The sun was warm and bright, the baybreezes cold and refreshing and the entertainment hot, hot, hot. I have taken a liking to a certain go-go boy from the cruise. Actually, it started when I first saw him in August. Just yummy with a bum that won't quit! To protect the not-so-innocent, I will refrain from posting his picture (this time). Immediately following the cruise, my comrades and I headed to Voo Doo Lounge for the Sunday tea dance. More baybreezes and vodka/Redbulls followed. It was a wonderful day of partying!

Now, a responsible person would've used yesterday to recuperate and enjoy the lovely South Florida day we had. Nope, not me. The cocktails started flowing at Rosie's at 4pm (after a workout though) and I met a great bartender, Steve. Not only is he cute, but he's nice. Because he also works at China White on Wednesdays and Fridays, I have a command performance tomorrow night. I hope I can do it. 6am comes mighty early! Following my happy hour and a bite to eat, I went to visit my go-go boy and see him dance. Being a pool shark, he also whipped my butt in a game. After the humiliation I suffered, there was no chance of playing any more than one. Now if I could only get him to whip my butt in another manner. A girl's gotta dream, right? ;)

Nope, the body doesn't bounce back like it used to. But still, I am having such fun, so why stop just yet.

A short reflection

2006-09-20T09:53:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was two months to the day that I closed on my condo. It is most definitely 'liveable' and a 'home', yet I still have quite a bit of things to do here and there (painting touch-up, decorating, blind hanging, etc.) that I might be finished with by January! I love it though.

Last week also marked the completion of the first week of my new job. This I too love.

Last night saw me having dinner at a beautiful home in Oakland Park with a friend of mine who introduced me to two friends (a couple) of his who just moved to Boston. They had also invited one additional friend of theirs. The five of us had a wonderful time laughing, drinking, eating, and dishing. I am truly looking forward to getting to know them better. Did I mention that they're both gorgeous?!

Now, if I could only bag myself a successful, gorgeous husband, my life would be complete (or would it?)

Rest in Peace

2006-09-11T13:42:00.000-04:00

Today, as it is every year, takes its toll on me (and I'm sure most people). Upon reflection of the events five years ago, my only real comment is to all of the innocent who lost their lives, I have not nor will I forget you. Rest in peace . . .

uh oh

2006-08-28T16:58:00.000-04:00

Here it is 24-36 hours away from the first hurricane to hit Florida this season and I am an hour from The Palace! UGH! Where will I do my hurricane partying this year. This could be problematic . . . hmmmmm.

THREE YEARS AND COUNTING

2006-08-23T15:09:00.000-04:00

Yep, yesterday was three years to the day that I arrived in South Florida. Three years of ups and downs and ups and downs and a whole lotta in betweens. All in all, I am still thrilled to be living here. I don't miss the cold or the cement or the grit or grime or . . . of NYC. I've finally found my footing professionally and more or less personally. It's been quite a while since I last posted, but since then, I've moved into my new condo, done a little traveling and started a fantastic new job. It's all kept me quite busy and I must run now, but I wanted to do a short posting so that I would avoid another reprimanding from Mrs. Astor. I expect to head down to South Beach this weekend (it's rare that I'm there now). I don't miss the lack of parking, the cologen, the noise, the 24/7 spring break atmosphere and all of the reasons I left, but I do miss the Palace. Ah well . . . Tiffany reigns on Saturdays . . . perhaps a visit this coming . . .

Keep on truckin' . . .

2006-08-03T08:39:00.000-04:00

I have driven I-95 from New York to and or from Florida 5 times and am on my sixth. I said after the last one (in a U-Haul truck and towing a car) that it was my last. Well, here I am again. After two days in Peekskill, NY, I headed to Richmond, VA yesterday and leave in a few moments to head south. I anticipate a stop in Savannah. This heat is crazy, yet I have one of Mrs. Astor's parasols and a cool, flowing frock to wear so it should be lovely. I do declah that t'nahhht I will rock on the verandah and sip a mint julip . . .

MY FIRST VISITOR

2006-07-28T16:42:00.000-04:00

(birds singing in the background, a soft breeze rustles the palms, Matty sips a mint julep)

"Madame, you have a visitor." "Really, Juan; I had not expected anyone today at my new home way up here in Ft. Lauderdale."

"Madame, I asked the fine lady's name and she replied, 'Just tell your mistress that I am a lady of great carriage and presence, immeasurable grace and demeanor, and sizable social magnitude"

"Oh, that must an elephant; invite Mrs. Astor in."

I wish I could take the credit for this, but the lady sent it to me in an email. Had to post it (with her permission) here . . .

It seems everyone loves Broward

2006-07-14T15:08:00.000-04:00

For some reason, Miami (Miami Beach, and moreso, South Beach, specifically) has some huge grudge against Fort Lauderdale (Broward County) and the citizens of Miami have this incredible superiority complex toward Broward County (Fort Lauderdale's) and its citizens. Well, about a year ago, when I first let it be known that I was planning on relocating from South Beach (Miami Beach in Miami-Dade County) to Broward County (the neighbor to the north), my dear friend Mrs. Astor said that I couldn't be serious about moving up there. I believe one phrase was, "That's where the elephants go to die."

Imagine my surprise when last evening, while sipping her ___teenth glass of red wine, our lovely New England aristocrat declared again (after first shocking me with the statement on Sunday) that she is considering heading up there herself!

Well, darling . . . either you're time has come and you're joining the great grey creatures or your chasing my tail up there. Hmmmmmmmm . . .

The Big Apple with the Little Kiddies

2006-07-11T17:22:00.000-04:00

From June 9 - 12 I took 18 high school students to NYC for a theatre excursion. I think I need to have my head examined! No, seriously, in all actuality, they are great kids and were very well behaved. Half were from South Florida and half were from Orlando.

I arranged (with the help of some extraordinary people who might be reading this) some fabulous workshops for the kids. We ate some wonderful meals (including one at Sardi's) and the trip culminated with the Tony Awards ceremony/telecast at Radio City Music Hall on Sunday evening.

I thought it might be fun to put a few pictures up from that weekend (including me in my penguin suite).

2006-07-11T17:16:00.000-04:00

2006-07-11T17:10:00.000-04:00

2006-07-11T17:04:00.000-04:00

MOVIN' ON UP . . .

2006-06-28T13:43:00.000-04:00

Well, the date is getting closer and closer. Yes, it's true . . . I am leaving Miami Beach! After nearly three years (August), I have purchased (well, I'm in the process of) a condo in beautiful Lighthouse Point (http://www.lighthousepoint.com). Lighthouse Point is approximately nine miles north of Fort Lauderdale, in Broward County. It's a two bedroom, two bathroom unit in a 216 unit complex. I'm on the first floor of three in one of six buildings. It's absolutely beautiful and I can't wait to move!

The following is a letter of reference to the condominium association written by a dear friend and colleague:

I am writing this letter on behalf of (Showtune), who is in the process of purchasing an apartment in (your complex). I have known (Showtune) both personally and professionally for several years. (Showtune) is a dedicated and talented educator who is very well respected in his field. (. . . Showtune) and I have worked together on many educational projects where he never fails to impress me with his creativity and knowledge of our industry.

(Showtune) is also a busy gay man and you can expect to see lots of cute guys hanging around the pool once (Showtune) moves in. (Showtune) is very excited about purchasing this condominium and I am sure that he will be as good a neighbor as he is a teacher and friend to me. Anyone would be lucky to have (Showtune) live nearby, especially if you are a very cute gay man!

If you have any additional questions, please call me at my office at . . .

Obviously, this wasn't the real letter sent, but she had a wonderful laugh at my expense, watching my eyes bulge while reading this.

I am so excited to get away from the pitfalls of South Beach . . . lack of parking, non-stop 24/7 Spring Break atmosphere, who hasn't had their cologen injections recently, who has better implants, etc. The biggest downfall though is that I fear I will lose my mayorial status at The Palace! Ah well

More to come . . .

OH MY GOSH!

2006-06-21T13:46:00.000-04:00

Ok, anyone who knows me is well aware that I am a huge fan of THE GOLDEN GIRLS. Now THIS is something . . . I can't decide if it's hilarious or VERY WRONG! You decide . . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVPGKmIAWL0

An outing with Jennifer

2006-06-14T16:28:00.000-04:00

So my colleague (and friend) Jennifer asked me Thursday morning if I wanted to go see a show last Thursday night. I accepted. We originally were going to go catch a movie we both wanted to see but it wasn't playing near us. This offer came up and we took it. I asked her what it was about and she replied that it was guys dancing with their shirts off . . . WHAT FUN!

Lo and behold, "Australia's Thunder From Down Under" turned out to be a Las Vegas male strip show! Now, I'm not complaining, but Jennifer is a colleague and I wasn't sure if I should let her see my trashy side (like it's so easy to hide).

Lets just say that this show is not catered to men and I was one of the few specimens with a penis in the house.

Still, we had a few margaritas beforehand and had a very fun time.

Ah, it's good to be a homo . . .

Happy Hurricane Season

2006-06-02T14:14:00.001-04:00

Well, yesterday started off the 2006 hurricane season! Woo hoo! NOT!

The night brought thunderstorms and short and small power outages to some areas of South Florida. Welcome hurricane season! It was not a pleasant start to the season. But, the weather cleared and by noon it was sunny and glorious. Today is also a lovely day . . . sunny, hot, clear. Aaaaah, not a hurricane in sight! Pfew!

The house hunt is back on and I'm hoping to find one very soon and with hurricane shutters.

More big news, but since it's not public yet, we'll keep things on the D.L. here . . . no reason to stir up trouble when not needed.

Happy Friday one and all, and go get your batteries (for flashlights you trashy minds!)

Gators Gators Everywhere

2006-05-22T15:32:00.000-04:00

First of all, yes, it's been less than a week since my last post! Ok, stop it! I know, I know! Surprise! I just had to write about my adventures this past weekend . . .

With all of this alligator nonsense and the Miami Herald's blasphemising of these cretures, and of course, Mrs. Astor's daily blog about them, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Although he was a little devlish, I survived unscathed and still maintaining all of my appendages which was no small feat . . . at one point, this guy (lets call him Al) started to get a little frisky thinking that I was his betrothed. I quickly pulled out my Oil of Olay and remoisturized, shedding my gator skin and regaining my baby's bottom softness! That turned him off and once we had returned to his hole in the everglades, he bid my a fond farewell and off I went . . . again, no easy task! Do you know how difficult it is to maintain style, poise and grace in an airboat?!?! Hello!

Well, I did and have returned to mainstream South Florida life. Instead of chasing gators this week, I think I'll go back to latinos . . .

Aaaaaaaaaah, the pressure!

2006-05-16T15:37:00.000-04:00

For fear of being outcast by Mrs. Astor, I am updating this silly blog. I'm not sure why our darling of society is instilling her wrath upon us mere peasants who work in the fields all day and have such little to say (at least of any value); however, she has, so to keep my status, I have posted a photo and a composition! So lay off! :)

This photo is from a few weeks ago at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts on the opening night of the national tour of CHICAGO. Of course, in the best of taste, I took my Broadway Bitch . . . er, I mean . . . Broadway Baby! Who's cuter? (at least one has the sense to drink!)

In general, things are in a rather interesting state of flux right now. I am pro-actively searching for a new venture for work. The pros of loving my job have finally been outweighed by the cons of . . . well, to keep myself employed for the time being . . . a supervisor of great . . . something to remain unsaid. So, I am on the path of searching for better employment.

This time of year is a bit crazy . . . end of season hubbub and some travel here & there. I feel a lack of breathing.

Today is a lugubrious day in South Florida. Last night saw thunderstorms and although we need the rain, I am not ready to be awakened in the middle of the night by lighting outside my window. There are SO many other ways I can think of to wake me out of a sound sleep . . .

Many things swirling through my pea-brained head, but for those . . . well, you must drink with me at the Palace! :)

Keep singin' & smilin' . . .

this week

2006-05-09T22:04:00.000-04:00

In NYC.
It's COLD.
My boss is an ASS.
Enuf said.

wearing the nurse's uniform

2006-04-03T17:55:00.000-04:00

Well, my dear Puerto Rican roommie now has it. And by 'it' I mean that nasty flu-like virus floating around. I have taken the reins and put the nurse's uniform on hoping to nurse him back to health before my trip to Tampa on Wednesday. Oh how I have no desire to go. But, a paycheck is a paycheck, right?

So I will be in Tampa from Wednesday to Saturday afternoon then return to Miami. Then, would you believe it . . . MORE COMPANY! I am thrilled to have one of my girls (biologically speaking) but after this, NO MORE COMPANY until I move to Ft. Lauderdale! It's too much. I love my dear friends but I'm exhausted.

Boy this turned out to be an incredibly boring post, huh? Ah well. The wine is flowing, daylight saving time is back and things seem pretty good right now. Perhaps a brief visit to see Susie at the Palace tonight.

What to say when you have nothing to say?

2006-03-31T13:31:00.000-05:00

At the risk of being reprimanded again for not posting enough, I decided that today I shall post. But I have nothing to say. Two and a half weeks ago, I nearly collapsed from physical exhaustion and wound up with a flu-like sickness. It lingers today. Twice I thought I had recouperated and immediately jumped into my tights thinking that I was once again Gay Superman and overdid it. I would up flat on my back sick again (not a cute position for a top!)

Not even a Z-pack helped these old bones get better. Gotta love a virus, right? Ugh! Nothing to do but rest & wait. Ah well. Hopefully this weekend will bring some well-deserved R & R. (and I don't mean rubber & rimming). Well, maybe a little.

The worst part of not feeling well . . . I'm not at the Palace! In addition to having withdrawl, I fear that there might be another one of those nasty uprisings and my place in the Tinkerbell Legion may be at risk! Never fear, I'm wearing my fairy wings about the hospital ward! Now I just need my Puerto Rican nurse to start wearing hers!

I Can't Wait for the Weekend to Begin . . .

2006-03-17T14:35:00.000-05:00

And what a weekend it shall be . . .

My Puerto Rican roomie arrives tomorrow evening. Two queens each battling for the crown . . . one Puerto Rican and one a gringo scorpio . . . can the two survive? Time shall tell . . .

And the event of the season . . . Mrs. Astor's big wedding Sat. evening. All of society (and a number of peasants) will be there. I still don't have a thing to wear! Are feathers in this season? Well, if all else fails, resort to good old musical theatre garb . . . glitz & tits! Never fails!

What a bonehead!

2006-03-08T09:50:00.000-05:00

Without going into a big long story, don't you just hate it when you send someone an email or text message intended for someone else? Yep, I did it! Monday! So much for courtship! What a bonehead!

I can hear the bells . . .

2006-02-26T10:15:00.000-05:00

The days are limited . . . Thursday, Mrs. Astor's betrothed arrives from Buenos Aires and a bachelor/welcome party shall ensue at the Palace. Sure to be a fabulous time . . . I just hope I can find a beautiful gown to wear . . . my simple frocks just aren't appropriate for such a grand occassion!

I am just tickled pink to see Mrs. Astor so happy! I will openly admit that I was one of the ones who raised an eyebrow (properly tweased and formed, of course!) early on. Mrs. A. is giddy with delight, but I sense a nervousness to this whole arrival and the subsequent festivities. It's true that the two have yet to meet in person and yesterday, Mrs. A. made a comment to me along the lines of, 'what if he decides he doesn't like what he sees?' My reply, which I firmly believe is that throught the year-plus courtship and relationship these two have had online, they seem to have really gotten to know each other as people and know their souls. After all, isn't that what it's really about? I can't imagine that a face to face would alter the bond that these two have.

So, on this weekend of wine and food festivities, I raise a flute high in the air and say congratulations to Mrs. Astor. Wishing you nothing but the very best!

The End of Blogging?

2006-02-19T20:16:00.000-05:00

When I started this site, it was at the suggestion of our dear Mrs. Astor and was something to be done for 'fun'. It then became somewhat therapeutic to me. In my last few blogs, and actually with all of them, in an attempt to protect the not-so-innocent, I refrained from using any names and actually think I was rather vague. In this tiny little society that I (we) live, the dots have been connected. So, the question becomes . . . do I simply voice what I have to say completely and 100% fully, or do I stop at this point and kill this silly means of expression for all of cyberland to see? The jury is still out . . .

Now I know how JFK felt!

2006-02-13T08:09:00.000-05:00

The Cuban Crisis is over! HOORAY!

damnit all . . .

2006-02-12T15:59:00.000-05:00

As angry as i am and as hurt as i am and as sad as i am and as frustrated . . . i miss my friend.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished . . .

2006-02-11T18:22:00.000-05:00

My dear Elphaba, from WICKED, whom if ever a musical theatre character I would be, said it best . . . no good deed goes unpunished. Evidenced twice in 72 hours!

Tuesday night I had a friend/colleague in from out of town. He stayed at my place while here for a job interview. There is one rule when staying at my place . . . you're not allowed to bring boys home. Big mistake to take him to The Palace. A dear friend, whom I've grown very fond of was trashed and couldn't drive. Being the always sensible and caring friend, I thought it best for him to crash at my place and not drive home. He did and ended up hooking up with my guest. UGH. I let it go with my guest and spoke about it with the dear frined and the air seemed clear. I voiced the confusion in my head as to the underlying "stuff" in our friendship. I was met with the same. We then proceeded to have what is probably the best date I've ever had in my life. That night I had a clear sleep (albeit only 4 hours) and woke up with the confusion clear and knowing what I thought and felt . . . a good thing right?!?!

That next day I was met with the 'brakes being put on' by him so as not to "ruin our friendship". Hmmmmmmmm. If our relationship didn't start out as being 'interested' in each other, but rather started out as acquaintances, growing to friends and at last resulted in very close friends . . . why 'put on the breaks'? Doesn't it make sense to just 'live life' by acting on feelings and moving forward? If the relationship developed and progressed on its own the way it did, without any pressure or pre-determined thoughts, etc., why stop there? Can anyone explain this to me, because I swear, I'll never understand boys and their logic . . . or lack thereof. Perhaps the majority are just truly scared of having something really amazing, or at the very least, 'good.'

Last night I received a telephone call from another friend who was having a minor breakdown. Again, being the big-hearted person I am, I stepped up to the plate and took care of the situation. Because he didn't want to be alone, I offered for him to stay at my place. Nothing happened; however, the entire time, all I could think about was how I wanted my 'friend' to be the one there (though I wouldn't wish a breakdown on many people). So another poor night's sleep thinking about the pitfalls of my life and trying so very hard not to think it's 'me.' Perhaps it really is? The worst part is that on Monday I finally deleted the phone number of last fall's 'issue' from my phone. Hooray . . . I've almost gotten over all of the crap he put me through and moved on, only for the next day to start the cycle all over . . . this time with someone I truly cared for, trusted and really believed in . . .

There are so many intricate details that I am tired of thinking about and am leaving out, but felt it might be therapeutic to write down the "Reader's Digest" version of my past few days. I hope it works . . . I'm so very tired of hurting!

I'm also tired of being the good ol' friend next door! When do I get to play the leading man?!?!

thanks billy & twyla

2006-01-30T16:55:00.000-05:00

I have been told that I need to write more often. Apparently, "people are talking". Hmmmm. Work has been quite busy and it seems that when I have time to write, I have little to say, at least of any significance. Our dear Mrs. Astor always seems to have something insightful, or at the very least, entertaining! Yet still, when I started this whole blogging thing, I did find it therapeutic, so, for today, I shall go with that.

I have a slight obsession with a new musical. Ok, so it's not new, but it's new to me. I had never wanted to see MOVIN' OUT, yet in the month of January, I saw it 5 times in its entirety, 3/4 of a performance and half of act one of another performance. To quote a friend of mine, "without wanting to sound trite, it's brilliant." And it is. Now, it certainly helps that it has hot dancers and Billy Joel music, but I just am floored by this show. INCREDIBLE.

Today is a gray South Florida day and I needed sun, as I'm feeling a little blue. My most recent NYC guest left early this morning and I suppose that's a part of it. I think part of it is this insane MOVIN' OUT thing too. I love my job. I get paid to do what I love (not nearly enough, but oh well), though I wonder if I still get 'attached' to shows too much. As a kid, I used to fall into a small depression when a production I was part of ended. Since I'm not really "attached" to specific touring productions that are only here for a short time, I didn't think when I started this job that it would happen, but it seems to be. I don't know why and I wish it didn't happen. Perhaps the best way to look at it is that it affects me and makes me 'feel'. Good, right?

Hey, I figured out to add pictures to these blogs . . . oh boy! WOO HOO!

Well, closing time is rapidly approacing and although it wasn't in the initial plans (and I'm tired) I believe the Palace is calling me for a cocktail . . .

Viva la musical!

The love & hatred for South Beach

2005-12-13T11:58:00.000-05:00

In my constant duality of "I love South Beach" . . . no . . . "I hate South Beach" the past few days have proven both.

On Saturday, I was at The Palace . . . but of course, where else would I be for weekend happy hour?!?! I was to meet a new friend for drinks and of course, ran into some of the usual suspects . . . always comforting! At any rate, he did finally arrive and was in a horrific mood. Work has been extremely hectic for him and it had taken its toll. Well, a co-worker of his (who I later realized I had slept with about 2 years ago) later arrived and the two of them chit-chatted pretty much to themselves. While this was going on, I was sort of having a conversation with another visitor from California, who, whilst we were chatting, was in the process of hooking up with another friend of mine (who was reciprocating ferociously!). Is this new for South Beach? Absolutely not! Am I tired of it? Absolutely! Our cocktail hour ended rather quickly as they all left very early on. Not what I had hoped for or expected. Left to my own devices, I trudged on and headed to the outside bar where . . .

I was approached about my WICKED t-shirt (I swear . . . I can't wear that thing in public anymore). I chatted with this stranger who proceeded to hit on me. Now, after what had previously happened, I started to buy right into it and think, "well, it's South Beach, I guess that's what I have to deal with . . . might as well go with it, right?" The stranger left and later came back with his dog and continued to try to hook up with me. Now, I decided that I just wasn't about all of that and was defiantly holding my ground when all of a sudden, I felt coolness on my left side . . . he was choking . . . no wait . . . he was VOMITING!!!! ON ME!!!! Now, that is NO WAY to get a girl into bed, lemme tell you! Needless to say, he didn't get any from me and I ran home immediately and took a nice long shower.

But wait, there's more . . . whilst grocery shopping at Publix last night (Monday) I was walking down the frozen food aisle to get to produce . . . out of the corner of my eye, I saw the mad puker! I immediatly picked up my speed (my gait is already rather swift) and ran toward the melon display! Oh how I was hoping he wouldn't see me. And fortunately, he didn't. But do you think I could leave it at that? NO!!!!!!!!! Hiding behind and carefully peering around the cantaloupes, I had to take a peek to see what it might have been I ended up wearing on Saturday . . . Stouffers? Green Giant? Swanson?

I still am not sure and quite frankly, don't think I need to know. I'm not sure what cosmic forces were at work or what that whole 48 hours was about, but it certainly makes me laugh . . . and cry . . . South Beach . . . love it and hate it!

The next step needs to be about me!

2005-12-01T13:53:00.000-05:00

After leaving a voice mail for Bozo on Sunday and not hearing, in my infinite wisdom, while battling a bit of insomnia at 4:30am on Tuesday, I decided it would be a good idea to send him a text message . . . "So ur not gonna return my call? That answers my question. Thanks." Every time I start to move on, even in the slightest, he contacts me. Last night was no exception. He decided to reply with "What was your question?". Well, he got it today. I wrote a long letter to him telling him the question was that I wanted clarification as to what kind of relationship he wanted with me . . . friendship, bed buddy, something more, so that I could then decide what I wanted. Well, with the help of a friend, I took an email that was wishy washy and made it about protecting me. I have no idea how he'll respond. Logically, I know it is right for me and my well-being. Inside, it hurts. Damnit! What do I want now . . . well, for him to come a runnin' and start a courtin'! And it could happen . . . probably the same day Miami sees a blizzard! Ah well, I am in town the weekend and will spend it at the Palace . . . lots of liquor and probably some grab ass with the troops! Damn the Latinos . . . full speed ahead . . .

Am I thankful for this?

2005-11-24T08:28:00.000-05:00

So it seems that apparently absence does make the heart grow fonder. At 4:30am Wednesday morning, my former 'Mr. Right' called me . . . it was only 1:30 on the west coast. Hmmmmmm. Anyway, what a shock! He claims he never meant for us not to be friends (not what the last written correspondence between us indicates) and was surprised I turned the other cheek & didn't call him. WHAT?!?! Hello!!!!! Now he misses me, thinks of me daily, realizes I'm a good person, blah blah blah. Now I have to figure out what he wants . . . a friendship? a long distance relationship? Then I have to figure what what I want . . . anything at all? . . . Happy Thanksgiving?!?!

Men are a waste!

2005-11-09T16:00:00.000-05:00

Boys suck! And not in the good way! That's it! Case closed!

Turning 30: Heartache & Hurricanes!

2005-10-30T17:52:00.000-05:00

This is definitely the title of my first book or my first album . . . whichever comes first! It's amazing how life can seem so splendid and just days later seem to be completely turned upside down and lacking. What is the purpose of life? What is my life's individual purpose? My dear Mrs. Astor had a traumatic September. I believe that October was my month. Our lovely Hurricane Wilma wrecked havoc on South Florida, I turned (gasp!) 30, I found Mr. Right and lost him, I ran back into the arms of an ex, fortunately able to just "enjoy it for what it was" and have contemplated every aspect of my life from my job to my abode to my friends to my physical structure to my . . . well, everything. Without sounding too morose . . . I feel something needs to be done, but what? I just don't know. Why is it that the thing(s) we think we want and need the most seem out of reach . . . Oh you wicked ghouls . . . run away and bring on November 1st!

The L Word

2005-10-11T11:42:00.000-04:00

It seems I've been away for such a long time. I have so much to write today, but don't know where to begin. I am still out of town and tomorrow must return to work. Love my job . . . can't deal with my bipolar boss. So many possiblilities that can occur regarding that over the next few weeks.

Meanwhile 30 rapidly approaches . . . we are almost counting single digit days! YIKES!

And on the homefront, I have learned that it's best to be careful what you wish for . . . you just might get it . . . and with that, I'll finally say it to myself . . . I am falling in love . . .

Easy come, easy go . . .

2005-09-30T14:51:00.000-04:00

Well, the condo is gone. I've decided that I like my job, although it pays, well, a not-for-profit education salary, but since I intend to be here for a while, cannot afford the condo. I am unwilling to give up "living" my life in order to own property.

In addition, with personal events of late, I am not prepared to not be able to continue to work on whatever they may produce due to a lack of expendable funds.

So, renting in South Beach I stay. Continuing to fight for parking will prove irritating, I have no doubt, but I have 'established' myself there and have a comfort level. Why tinker if it isn't broken, right? We'll see . . .

So much to say, so much to lose

2005-09-26T16:24:00.000-04:00

There is SO much I have to write today but alas, it is swirling around in my head right now, giving me a migraine. And then there's the fact that if the information is put into the wrong hands, the risk of loss is immeasurable. Do I dare put this on paper for myself to see and re-examine? So much has happened. I don't know who is writing the script that is my life, but he should be taken out back and beaten! I can't figure out if it's a comedy or a tragedy! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! What I know is that life seems quite unfair. Why, when the protagonist finally gets his act together, seems to know what he wants and is headed down the right track to accomplishing that, does a new character, who has been longed for seemingly forever, and who fits so perfectly into that desired structure, enter, only to say "I'm perfect except for one itty bitty detail"? Aaaaaaaah, details. And when it's a detail such as this, is it a 'problem' or merely a 'challenge'? And if it's a 'challenge' is the new character as prepared to face it as the protagonist, or does he see it as a 'problem' and will he simply run? Oh how one itty bitty detail can ruin what would otherwise be mere perfection! So for now, I trudge on, trying to put the pieces together, hoping beyond hope that it will work out in my favor . . .

I found my dream house!

2005-09-23T13:25:00.000-04:00

Well, not really, but after a long and grueling home search, beginning back in January, I finally made an offer on a condo in Wilton Manors (Ft. Lauderdale) on Wednesday. After a number of back & forths, noon today brought a final agreement and I am soon to become a homeowner. With a goal of my 30th birthday, I will be two days short, closing two days after the big 30. So much to do in the meantime. If 30 doesn't kill me, this very well may . . .

Life after the storm

2005-09-21T12:17:00.000-04:00

It would seem that after two years and a number of hurricanes, I'd be used to the South Florida weather and these lovely storms. Yet, each new one brings a series of inexplicable uprisings.

Although my office in Ft. Lauderdale was open for business yesterday, living in S0uth Beach dictated that I not drive up. Fortunately, I had brought my laptop home Monday night and was able to do work at home. The afternoon brought one of the famous Palace Hurricane Parties, continuing from Monday night's festivities. I believe that I have been added to Mrs. Astor's "Gang of Twelve" and find that fun & exciting. I do however feel that I am more on the outskirts of that group and not truly "in" the gang. Sometimes I think that's ok and other times, not so much. At any rate, The Palce did not fail us and proved once again that anything can and will happen there, with or without the forces of Mother Nature as is evidenced by . . .

This morning when I spoke to my favorite Puerto Rican and he informed me that he would no longer be going out with me because every time he does, he gets involved in drama. For some reason it's my fault that he decided The Palace would be a good idea for him yesterday. I reminded him of my lack of involvement, as I was a good boy and have been lately. I think that is part of the problem. It's very difficult to have morals and live in South Beach. Ahh, the duality of it all!

I find myself sitting and staring at a computer screen pondering what my next move is. Is it time for a change? How drastic? Have I lied to myself? Have I created thoughts in my mind that don't really exist? Damnit when the brain goes into overdrive! While this writing is starting to prove somewhat therapeutic, I wonder if it only perpetuates the overactivity of the brain waves. And why do we express ourselves in a forum for all to see? Hmmmmmmmmm.

In the meantime, happy trails to the boys heading back up north and hoping you'll be back soon!

My First Time

2005-09-19T15:35:00.000-04:00

Gotta get my mind out of the gutter! I meant my first time posting on my new blogspot. Thank you, Mrs. Astor for getting me hooked on this crap! More importantly, thanks for becoming a new friend! Time to go look at some real estate. Until my next posting . . .